Life in use had nothing clean about it – we know that better than anyone. Some of us were in complete poverty; we were indifferent both to the place where we lived and to ourselves. But as bad as the outside conditions were, the filth we felt inside was much worse: for the things we did to get drugs, for the way we treated other people, for how we treated ourselves. Many of us remember endless mornings waking up with the longing to just once feel good about who we are and what we do.
Today, by staying clean, we have the opportunity to feel good about ourselves. For us drug addicts, living clean starts the moment we stop using – as we speak, that's mostly what the term "clean" means in Narcotics Anonymous. But as we stay clean and work the Twelve Steps, we discover another kind of "cleanness." It's what we feel inside when we admit the truth about our addiction, instead of staying in denial. It is that sense of second chance that we are given when we take responsibility for our mistakes and make amends for them. It is the vital energy we feel when we apply those spiritual principles we discover by seeking the will of a Higher Power for us. When we apply the principles of the program to all our affairs, we have no reason to feel "dirty" about ourselves and the way we live. We are finally living clean and we are thankful for it.
Such a life we thought was for the "strange". Today, living clean is not just a choice, it is the only way for us.
